Life · Love & Other Mysteries

The Blame Game

Beautiful Biola


She is my friend, the beautiful ‘Biola Adesanya. All my pleading has finally come to fruition and she has penned this beautiful piece for my blog as a guest writer. Please enjoy


My name is Biola. I’m on a journey of discovery. So far I’ve found that who I am isn’t as important as who I can be. And who I can be must always play second fiddle to who God wants me to be. Follow me on Twitter (if you wish) @biyolah66


If you ask me, I think we’re living in an age of irresponsibility. We’re living in an age where everything we do is always somebody else’s fault. If I craft a bomb, and blow up some people, it’s because of imperialist Western agendas and not because I’m a religious and moral bigot. If I hijack a school bus full of little children and demand ransom for them, it’s because of unjust resource allocation and not because I’m cruel and lazy. If I rape a girl, it’s because she dressed provocatively and not because I’m a cold blooded psychopath given over to perverse lusts. If I vote for a clueless, shoeless clutz, whose greatest achievement was not having shoes growing up as a child, it’s because the opposition party couldn’t get their act together to form an alliance and not because I base my choices on religious or tribal sentiments. And if I get swindled by a 419er, it’s because the other guy is bad and evil, and not because I’m greedy, wanting to reap where I haven’t sown. It’s called the blame game and we’ve gotten very good at it. The youth blame the elders, the elders blame modernization; the North blames the South, the South blames the British. Parents blame their children and children their parents. Men blame women, women blame soccer. Everybody blames Somebody and Somebody always blames Government.

Are you getting the gist? If my marriage breaks down, it’s his snoring and not my nagging about it. If I cheat at exams it’s because the teacher is lousy or the subject is boring (or both) and not because I spend all my time on Twitter and Facebook. Likewise, if I treat God like a babalawo, or like a money doubler, or like a slot machine and sow N1000 in order for God to give me N1 million, it’s because the pastor manipulated me and not because I couldn’t be bothered to search out the truth for myself. And if I let my pastor replace God in my life, well of course it’s the pastor’s fault but certainly not mine.

Somehow I find it disconcerting to read the numerous posts and tweets that abuse, curse, condemn and isolate pastors who take advantage of their flock and get rich at the expense of their congregation, without them making any mention of a complicit and even somewhat docile follower-ship; and there’s every likelihood this article will stir up a hornet’s nest. But before I’m  totally misconstrued, let me say for the record that I empathize with genuine and sincere Christians who have gotten their fingers burnt by charismatic men in pinstriped suits and/or white flowing cassocks, whichever fits the bill. God is faithful, and there’s always a new beginning for you in Him.

Back to the matter at hand. Yes, there are many such pastors; yes, church has become a business for many – both for those who open shop and for those who patronize them (and by the way, if a business has no customers, will it survive?) and yes, they will all be judged by God.

But so will you and so will I, whether we are the deceived or the deceivers. Remember how Adam got all defensive in the garden of Eden when God confronted him and he tried to push the blame on both Eve and God for them to share? Well, if I read my Bible right, Adam (the alleged deceived) came under judgement and was driven out of the garden too, not just Eve (the alleged deceiver). However, Adam was  judged because God knew he wasn’t deceived like he claimed, and Eve also, even though she was genuinely deceived by the serpent.

I find that really scary, that even though Eve was well and truly deceived, God still kicked her out of paradise. It’s rather frightening to know that God knows and sees everything, and is totally righteous and just when He judges a matter. Besides that, He knows the end from the beginning and knows the far-reaching consequences of our present day actions, and will act accordingly, whether we like it or understand it or not. Eve discovered that very early on. Wahala dey o.

Perhaps someone might think I’m writing this because I haven’t fallen prey to such “merchants of God”. But maybe I’m writing this as someone who needs to sound the warning bell. We will all give account to God, both the called many and the chosen few, both the manipulator and the manipulated, both the ones who market God and His Holy Spirit as money doublers, and those who buy into their pitch.

Remember God cannot be mocked; whatever we sow, we will reap. So if you are one of those pastors who prophe-lie, teach error and peddle half truths in order to get rich at the expense of your congregation, your day of reckoning will surely come. And if you’re one of those who are like sheep to the slaughter, following blindly, believing everything and testing nothing, know that you will give an account of your actions also. You just might discover that the excuse “I was deceived” does not hold much sway.


But hey, I’m not God… Fortunately.


Abiola Adesanya







41 thoughts on “The Blame Game

  1. That was a very interesting dimension into the Eve and Adam story. It is sobering to be reminded that just like in the worldly courts, ignorance will not be a defense in the heavenly courts.


  2. Very insightful and points fingers in both direction. I like that very much. Lesson learnt: Don’t be stupid, question instructions given and why it is so.
    Nice read.


  3. Interesting article. Our generation has lost all sense of responsibility and it’s getting worse in the younger generations. I’ve always said that the day my pastor begins to act contrary to God’s word, I’ll quietly leave the church. We need to start acting like matured people, taking responsibility for every action we take. Anyway, God will help us. Thanks Biola and Ijeoma.


  4. Wow, its suprising biola, you spoke of my situation right now, are u sure we are not twins?. Anyway thanks, i now have a better perspective.


  5. Thanks Biola. You appear so quiet but loud, mighty and truthful with your pen. I look forward to reading more of your interesting writing. Keep it up.


  6. God doesn’t accept the ‘i was deceived’ excuse because we all have the power to choose. Jesus repeatedly warned us against deception. Whatever we do is our choice, it’s our resposibility to bear the consequences of our actions/choices. …. story of Adam & Eve. Nice write up btw, love the theme.


  7. Pearl, it was worth it. 🙂

    Abiola, it was a great read (and a good write, too).

    The way you built the momentum on blame before bringing up your main focus on the deceiving pastors and their flock (a major issue) was quite good.

    We do have a serious problem of blame in our society. A culture of blame is an evidence of a lack of shame, and an abdication of personal responsibility. And I belive it is also an act of unbelief.

    You are right. God will judge our thoughts, words and intentions, not just our actions. And it is scary.

    Your point about Adam and Eve brought something to my mind on the second read. I thought about the woman and deception, in regards to love relationships.

    I think Eve wasn’t spared because she knew the truth. She had been told what was real, yet she chose to believe in a lie. And God’s integrity was questioned (by His enemy) without her defending it.

    He had to act in judgment and to uphold righteousness.

    This is not to completely dismiss the theory that says if Adam hadn’t accepted the deception (as the “source”and head of Eve) mankind might not have fallen altogether. But that’s another story.

    So when a woman is deceived in a love relationship (with a PROMISE of true love) is she also “guilty” of foolishness (I say this with no disrespect, merely curiosity)?

    How does that play with self-esteem issues and overcoming the pain of the hurt? I’m thinking in terms of creating a victim story so as to villify the deceiver (and I do believe that to deceive is a horrible action. It takes premeditation).

    Generally speaking, how do we overcome the blame game and become responsible handlers of authority, revelation, and opportunity?

    I would love to hear your response.



    1. Hi Tunde,

      I’m honestly not sure how the story of Adam and Eve plays out in a relationship setting, seeing as it was the serpent who deceived Eve, and not the man. I’ve read your comment several times trying to get a sense of what you mean. It almost sounds as though you’re suggesting that if a woman has been deceived by a man, she is to blame and not the man who deceived her.

      I am wary of generalizing or passing judgement on issues or situations where I don’t have all the facts. Only the individual in question (and God who sees everything) can tell whether or not he or she was truly deceived. But remember the Bible says in Mark 13:22 that if possible, even the elect will be deceived by false christs and false prophets and their signs and wonders. Now if it’s possible for the spiritually discerning to be deceived, how much more the unassuming and undiscerning?

      Overcoming the blame game I think starts with being totally honest, with yourself first and then with others. Like one of Pearl’s favorite quotes goes, “To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man”.



  8. Biola, i have always knew you carry so much in you ( treasures in earthen vessel). IJ thanks for dragging this out of her & i hope this continues to flow like a stream.

    The write up is so apt & i am also a firm believer in this tenet: “To make a difference in the world, take a look at the man/woman you see in the mirror & change that first”.

    We all must look inward, make changes & take responsibility of our actions.

    like Ghandi says ” Be the change you want to see in your society”

    I Celebrate you

    Seyi Lala


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