Life & Other mysteries · Life's stories

Redemption or Destruction?

“@Miss_Jayla: “Whether good or bad, whether redemptive or destructive, our relationships with our mothers affected us to the core of our beings.””

“Nwa m, just tell the truth and nobody will beat you. What did he do to you? Where did he touch you?”

These accusations started 3 years ago when she was 7 years old. Her mother had never explained to her what sex was but she knew. Maybe children have a sixth sense about these things. The only sex education she was given was being accused of doing ‘something’ with some male or the other. Her reply to every accusation was “I didn’t do it” but her mother never seemed to remember her answer when she accused her of the same things over and over again.

Her mother was getting angry. Whenever she got angry, she looked like a mountain lion. She looked like a demon had taken hold of her. She became totally different from her beautiful self, her facial features all scrunched up in hate and anger.

“Won’t you talk? Before m nwelu this aka odo kuwa gi isi now.” (Speak before I break your head with this pestle)

She knew the answer her mother wanted to hear. She was tempted to let her have her way but she knew it would not end there. Something else would crop up from that and then it will be another year long battle or more.

The truth is that he had never touched her but she was getting to the point where she started doubting, believing the lies her mum was selling her… Could it be possible that he came in the cool of the night when she was asleep? Maybe that was why she couldn’t remember it.

“Did he tell you not to tell anyone? Did he say he will not pay your school fees? Just tell me the truth, nothing will happen to you. O ogu a gwolu ya na village na cause ife a. Odi ume nke a akam afuro before. Ehn! Tufiakwa”
(It is the jazz/juju that they did for him in the village that is causing this. I have never seen this kind of behaviour before.)

She was just weary. At times likes these, she wondered why God allowed her to be born to this particular man and woman. She wished she were living another reality.

“Am I not talking to you? What happened?” Her mother thundered. “Tell me now!”

“Mummy, nothing happened. Daddy did not have sex with me.”







4 thoughts on “Redemption or Destruction?

  1. The harsh realities of Nigerian up-bringing. How the experiences often range from irresponsible to abusive nightmares. And how the rage and torment still echo years after we are grown. It takes only grace, great grace, for our back ground not to affect our foreground.

  2. Our parents sure got some things wrong while bringing us up, but … My prayer has always been that my generation should do better in helping our children fulfill destiny. it seems like an uphill task, but then…

  3. if you insist, i go talk my own…

    well, well well, what shall we say to these things…hope maketh not ashamed…whatever we have become as a result of an infected up bringing, christ can make beauty out of ashes if we let go and let him…

    Then there is our generation…hmmm God save us, cause with the way things are going, we aren’t any better…we don’t use the koboko or torturous interrogation…we simply let go of the reins and pass on responsibility to house girls (are 100% of the time demon possessed but still hire them…smh) to dstv and to the internet…we are too busy chasing the money…or whatever else gives us the regular high…

    1. I look at my son today and I pray, “oh Lord,may I be the mother you need me to be to my children” ’cause sometimes, I don’t have a clue. As for parents of our days, . . . I’ll write that its just grace that’s kept us through, even though some of the scars are still there, but we’re better oFf anyway.

Oya don't go oh, talk ya own here... Thank you :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s