I have a personal philosophy where I like to treat others the way I’d want to be treated. It is called the golden rule. But it is not easy, it is painful and hard. I have to stay consciously committed to it and I won’t lie and say that I have mastered the art or science of it. I am not perfect at it either; I fail and I fail again but I always get up and try again.
One way I am learning, through my husband, how to treat people the way I want to be treated is to examine how they treat me. How they treat me when they are hurt or betrayed, how they treat me when I offend them, how they give or do not give me the benefit of the doubt, how they respond to me correcting them, how they interpret my actions. . . You get my drift. I assess situations, responses and reactions and then put myself in their shoes to see if I would do things differently.
I try to understand. If I find that I’m more likely to make the same bad decisions as they did, I put it to heart to be careful to learn better ways of responding to such situations so that I do not do the same thing. In this way, I am able to see things from their perspective and judge them as I would judge myself instead of just writing them off.
Remember that as human beings, we tend to perceive the wrong done to us as much more weightier than what we do to others.
I’ve said all of that to say this – I think people should be judged on their track record. Try not to judge a person by their actions alone especially when they are down and out, when they’re ill and when they’re weak. If someone has been loyal, competent and reliable for years and then doesn’t seem to be exhibiting those qualities, we must try to give them the benefit of the doubt and if possible, find out what’s wrong. If you already know what’s wrong, then be a pillar for them not a point of reference or correction. They are simply weak and need to be strengthened not to be put down by your every word and/or action.